There is no answer to when it stops hurting. What the process looks like is knowable.
After a breakup, feeling a little better and then collapsing again repeats. If you were improving and one day feel returned to the start, recovery has not failed; that is the shape it has. Anniversaries and familiar places bring the wave back. Recovery is the waves arriving further apart and lower.
Going over what went wrong is an attempt to understand, but repeating a question with no available answer only revives the feeling. This is called rumination and is repeatedly identified as something that slows recovery. It does not mean stop thinking; it means getting it out rather than circling. Writing it down or telling someone reduces the looping.
Every time you check on them, the feeling restarts. Distance is needed not because forgetting is the goal but to give the wound time to close. If blocking feels too severe, muting notifications or hiding them for a while already makes a large difference.
When sleep, food and movement fall apart, feelings land harder. Waiting to feel better before restoring your routine reverses the order. Keeping sleep times consistent and going outside to move, even while still feeling bad, feeds back into mood. Settling it with alcohol wrecks sleep and stretches the whole thing out.
Grief itself is normal and passes. But if months on your daily life is not holding, if sleep and eating remain broken, or if you have thoughts of harming yourself, this is not a state to leave to time. Counselling is an option available early rather than a last resort, and with those signs you should seek help immediately.
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